Shame on the Train

After hearing a man brag about how easy it was to cheat on his wife multiple times, Stephanie Stayer had enough, and snapped a picture of him, then posted it on her Facebook page. His picture has now been reposted 275,000 times! It brings up an interesting question. Who is this benefiting?

On Steph’s facebook page she wrote, “If this is your husband, I have endured a 2 hour train ride from Philadelphia listening to this loser and his friends brag about their multiple affairs and how their wives are too stupid to catch on. Oh please repost …”

Well I love the idea that this guy is getting what he deserves, I can’t help but feel sorry for his wife. Not only does she have a horrible husband, but she has to discover this through a facebook post. It’s bad enough to find out you’ve been cheated on, but even worse to have all of your friends and family find out first. I just hope they don’t have kids.

I’ve overheard lots of guys talking about their affairs on the subway. It seems to be a thing; as if the pressure of keeping a secret at home drives them to share it with as many strangers as possible. I’ve never once thought of taking a picture of that person. Yes, I’ve dreamed about “accidentally” spilling my coffee on them, but nothing as drastic as publicly shaming them. (Yes, I realize I’m being a hypocrite by continuing the public shaming of the train guy by posting his picture.)

What would you do?

11 comments

  1. Interesting thing to ponder. I think that I, like you, would be annoyed and secretly wish to spill hot coffee on him, but I can’t imagine that I would consider doing something like this person did. Who is it benefiting? Perhaps herself? You know, as in getting her own personal revenge on this guy who annoyed her for so long. Not sure. But he certainly deserves to be found out, and his wife should know what kind of person she married.

    Maybe I’m naive, or perhaps out of touch, but I find it shocking that this subject is something you hear about frequently. Pretty sad statement, I’d say.

    Like

    1. It’s the law of numbers. When you ride the subway twice a day during rush hour, the likelihood of overhearing a jerk becomes much higher.

      Like

  2. Did Steph notice if tape measures were present during their conversation? Sounds more like a pissing contest to me. Although I’m a male, I never understood the social dynamics of the ‘kiss and tell’ crowd. Who would brag about such a failure of character. I don’t get it.

    Like

  3. Honestly I see the justice in the situation. I cannot even begin to describe how horrible I feel that the wife would have to find out this way but isn’t it still better then not finding out at all? And also what of the women involved in the affairs? Did they all know his marital status before entering into the affair? The picture might have educated multiple people. Hopefully it will also educate him on the proper ways to treat somebody you are supposed to love and care for. Maybe now that he has lost everything he can rebuild into a better person.

    Like

  4. I am constantly astounded at the behaviour of people on trains. There is a class of people who seem to think they exist in a bubble with no impact upon those sitting only inches away. The hay fever sniffers wreck my head (get a tissue for pity’s sake!). In the past I have interrupted groups of loudly cursing adults and pointed out that they are sharing the carriage with ladies and small children and that it is not an army barracks. The teenagers who use their time on the train to listen to every ring tone on their phone, such fun for everyone else! I have seen obviously furtive behaviour from a couple who were clearly having an affair, and had to part company when they arrived in their home station. Didn’t they realise that the other 20 people getting off at their station had already seen them cuddling on the train? Strange indeed. I have no sympathy for the swordsman from Philly.

    Like

    1. My favorite train incident (not!) was when I was riding home at 1am. The trains had all been delayed, and I got on the wrong train, so what should have been a 20 minute trip took an hour. I was exhausted and cranky, and then, of course, a group of 30 teenagers came in with boom boxes (seriously, who still carries around boom boxes?) They were competing to see who could play their music loudest, and the lyrics were so lewd. Everyone else on the train looked miserable, but we were all to afraid to confront the teenagers because there were so many of them.

      Like

  5. had to tack on a little note of apology to this: I’m sorry commenting with this looooooong rant. Please just take it as a compliment to your outstanding ability to provoke thought in your readers! I really enjoyed this post and your blog as a whole, please keep up the great work! And I promise not to let my comments get so lengthy in the future 🙂

    You just sparked an interesting debate between my husband and I. Though debate is probably the wrong word; we were each arguing it from both sides. It’s so difficult to say what the “right” thing to do was here, because no matter what you do in this sort of situation, the victim (aka. the wife) is going to get hurt.
    You do nothing– she gets “hurt” because she continues to be unaware that she is married to a complete pig. You intervene and try to out this pig publicly– and yes, he gets what he deserves, but his wife (and possibly kids) will be hurt just as much, if not more.
    A little side rant because I want to make this clear: this guy is most definitely a pig. Even giving him the benefit of the doubt and assuming that he was merely embellishing or flat out lying for the sake of a pissing contest (and that’s a BIG stretch)– he is still a pig of a man because he has zero respect for his wife and thinks nothing of publicly trashing and humiliating her for the sake of his own ego and/or amusement.
    As a bystander it’s not hard to argue that it’s only justice to publicly humiliate and trash this man, since that’s exactly what he did to his wife. But that is from an outsider’s perspective. I think the victim has to be the biggest part of the equation when trying to determine what justice is. If the victim is going to be hurt just as much (if not more), then it doesn’t seem very “just.”
    In this situation, I think you have to put yourself in the shoes of the guy’s wife and ask yourself, “If this were my husband, what would I want someone in my position to do?” I just hope that if this facebook post ever made its way to someone who knows this guy’s poor wife, rather than reposting it for her to see, they approached her in person.

    Like

    1. Haha I love your passion on the subject! It’s so hard to know what’s right in this situation all I know is that pig deserves to be publicly ridiculed as he did to his wife. If I were his wife of hate to find out about this on Facebook but it’s imagine after some time is realize it was for the best. Thanks for your thoughtful comment…you never need to censor yourself here 🙂

      Like

Comments are closed.