Not Everything Is about You

I’m always amazed by how egotistical people can be–especially when it comes to something negative.

I recently wrote a post for my Brutal First Impressions blog titled, 10 Signs You’re a Bad Friend, and I got texts from friends asking if I was referring to something they did. I wrote this list based on the complaints my friends have had about other friends over the years.

When I wrote a post about women who wear too much make up, people asked me if I was writing about them. I wrote this post after seeing a group women on the subway whose natural beauty was disguised under a thick mask of make up. I wanted to shake their shoulders and yell, “stop wearing so much make up,” but instead I wrote a blog post.

rubensIn college I made a painting of an obese woman, and more than one person asked if I based it on them. The woman in the painting was about four times the size of the people who asked me. It was an exaggeration of a Peter Paul Ruben’s woman.

Why are we so vain when it comes to the wrong things?

If I wrote a post thanking an anonymous person who has changed my life because of his/her friendship, I don’t think a single person would ask me if I was writing about them. Funny how we think the negative slights are about us, but not the positive praise.

I wonder why this is. Any thoughts?


  1. Because insecurities bring forth the fear that we’ve been “found out.” People want assurance that it’s not their flaws under the spotlight. Keep on keepin’ on Tracy, your honesty (and LACK of ulterior motives behind it) is so refreshing! You inspire me to be a more honest, straight forward person 🙂


  2. I might think a positive post was about me, but not say anything. The reason I think people would ask you about something negative is because most of us want to improve ourselves, and if we do something blatantly wrong, we’d like to know. At least I would.


  3. I agree with Ashlynn – we just want reassurance that we haven’t been busted. Before the internet, we could all live our lives in relative anonymity; now, with everything “out there,” it’s too easy to read something and wonder…could this be me?? And I agree with you – we dismiss the positive, but cling to the negative. Why??? There’s another post, all by itself! 🙂


  4. I still do not have the guts to ask a first impression! It comes after years of self doubt- wondering if you have talked about me… 🙂


    1. One thing I’ve learned about giving brutal first impressions is that people are much more brutal to themselves than to other people 🙂


Comments are closed.