complain

2 responses that will save you time and energy

friendsWe all want to be good friends and listen when someone we care about has a problem. However, you don’t always have time to listen for hours. There’s also the problem of friends who want to complain and never do anything differently. Listening to their never-ending problems can be really draining.

I have found that these two responses help save time and make sure that the person you’re talking to is as invested in their situation as you are.

“Can you remind me of this in a week?”

I get lots of friends asking me for feedback on their work. In more than one case, I read the work, spent hours writing a critic and then when I got back to them their response was “Oh, actually I’ve changed my mind and I’m working on something else. Would you mind looking at that instead?”

Man oh live!

Now when someone sends me something, I write “‘I’d love to look this over, but I’m busy right now, so can you remind me in a week?” If it’s not important enough for them to remember to remind me, than it’s not important enough for me to spend time on it.

“How are you going to handle that?”

I learned this gem from The Living Course. People love to complain. They can do it for hours. Sometimes they don’t realize they’re doing it. Asking this simple question stops the complainer in their tracks. It makes them concentrate on how they’re responsible for making the changes that will make them happier. Nothing I can say will make a difference. They are the ones who have to take action. If they start going into excuses about how they can’t handle it because it’s not in their hands, ask “how will you handle the fact that it’s out of your control?”

I hope these help you save time and energy. Let me know if you have any other responses that help you.

My wounded HeSo

Yep. Not so pretty. This picture sums up how I´m feeling right now. I studied verb tenses for six hours yesterday. When I came home to my host family I tried to use what I learned and I  went blank.  I just had four hours of grammar class. I kind of understood the first hour. The last last three hours were just kicking a dead horse. A very tired, dead horse. A tired, stupid, dead horse.

Sometimes I think what´s the point. I´ll never learn Spanish. It´s too complicated. I can barely speak English. But I will prevail. As my friend from Turkey told me when he saw me coming out of class looking like I just ran a marathon, ¨Pena es antes de divertido.¨ (pain is before fun)

Maybe my headache has nothing to do with grammar. Maybe it´s because this is what´s considered a ¨glass¨of wine here:Anyways, I feel bad complaining about my time here. And since I don´t want that horrible picture of me to haunt you, I´ll leave you with a much nicer one:

That´s what I see when I walk home every night. Can´t complain.